I don't even know...

What do you say, how do you respond...when someone tells you they've discovered a cancerous tumor in their brain and don't think they want to live anymore if it means being an invalid?

Inception

Yes, still. And yes, dreams. (:

On success

My post for this week's Avocado Jungle. Thoughts?

Success is one of those topics that can spark a countless number of debates, conversations and discussions — with others, but more importantly, within ourselves. Trying to define this amorphous concept is the root of both ambition and manipulation, the reason why some of us are able to be content without external reinforcement and why others who are superficially successful will never have peace of mind.

The truth about success, in my view, is that it is more about personal goals and drive than it is about finding a place in the human rat race. We’re taught at an early age that there is such a thing as winners and losers — labels that are ultimately arbitrary, since the process is more valuable than the end result. This black-and-white rationale can act as blinders for how we view personal achievement, and it takes some unlearning to even begin to define success.

Take something as simple as a marathon, for instance. I recently ran a 10K race through Central Park as part of my preparation for the full New York City marathon. Without a doubt there was a runner who finished the race first, and by definition, he or she was the “winner” of the run. Likewise, there had to be a person who finished last, and by definition, was the “loser” of the race. But you would be hard-pressed to find somebody who wouldn’t agree that each person who crossed that finish line was still successful in his or her own right. The mental endurance and emotional poignancy that is associated with training for a marathon is blatant proof that success is an individual experience.

How is it that this very literal example, however, often fails to translate into other areas of life? If the workforce really is the rat race we believe it to be, then why worry about finishing ahead of other people, about making more money than, owning more things than, having more power than others? It should matter more the lessons we learn, the skills we acquire, the positive changes we see in ourselves in our quest toward a finish line. Having a goal and working toward it and actually embracing all the experiences along the way — that is success.

Blindly reaching for institutions and social levels that we’re told are benchmarks of success is the surest way to ensure personal frustration and failure. It is only when we learn to let go of external expectations and begin to enjoy the process of life itself that we can truly grasp what we personally define as success, be it raising a family, giving back to the community, or even just learning a foreign language.

It’s not so much what we do that makes us successful. It’s how we go about striving toward our goals and why we choose to do them. Everything else is just details.

Mao's Last Dancer

Just screened this in my first section of NYU's Movies 101. Absolutely fantastic film and can't wait to spread the word -- out in the States in August. Really well-cast (male lead's quite the looker...) and such an intricate, multi-dimensional true story. Schweet.

Awkward Things, Part I.

Things that I've been noticing in the past few days, all pretty dang awkward (and good for a chuckle -- maybe even two):

1. That first moment when a movie ends in the theatre and the credits start rolling. Instinct says to turn to the person next to you and say something witty or thought-provoking or critical, but if your fellow movie-goer is the silent type, you end up feeling like a douchebag.

2. Making as though to exit an elevator just as it stalls -- you end up walking toward a closed door in a confined space, looking pretty foolish. And then instead of just chuckling at yourself, you pretend like it didn't happen and insist on facing straight forward anyway, avoiding eye contact.

3. Doing the two-step with an elderly person while trying to cross each other on the sidewalk.

4. Saying "You too!" when the waitress tells you to enjoy your meal.

5. Holding an awkward smile while a kind passerby tries to figure out how to work your camera. Especially awkward when you're among a giant group of people, and yours is the only camera that decides to be difficult.

That is all. Random thoughts, consequent parts to follow.

Wordplay

Heard something yesterday that kind of tickled my fancy (HA) and made me stop and think.

We should stop asking how we can get out of a challenging situation and instead ask what we can get out of the experience.

So concisely put but so true -- I think, regardless of whether the medium is religion, psychology or a blurry mix of the two, this truth, when delivered, has such a sobering effect. This is taking a given set of circumstances and understanding that nothing that has taken place is positive or negative; only our minds make it so. The concept of a person with "bad luck" versus someone who seems to have been born into good fortune -- that's all perception.

In navigating my way (both literally and figuratively) through New York City, I see that part of the reason why people can burn out here so quickly is that they fail to see the big picture, the impermanence of their situations. Stressful though a project at work may be, it too shall pass. Time waits for no one, and therefore, it's silly to assume that a bad situation will continue to be bad. The truth is, a bad situation stops being bad the instant you decide it's not. It's really that simple, and really that complicated.

Having a constructive attitude is something that I'm working on. The most valuable resource we have is (perhaps second to time) our psychic energy, and where we focus that really does determine how our days, weeks, years, and eventually, lives, turn out. Expanding focus is something like growing a plant, though. Leave it untouched and untended, and it becomes just a pile of dirt and rubble concealing a few kernels of potential.

Pretty unfortunate, ya know what I mean?