Food for Thought

Came across this post on the New York Times "The Graduates" blog and really liked it, just thought I would share. It's well-written and brings up a really good point. I'm inspired.

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April 19, 2007, 5:39 pm
Good for Goodness’ Sake

By Missy Kurzweil

Most details of my high school graduation are hazy in my memory, but I distinctly remember one speech given by a member of the school board. He turned his back to us seniors onstage and faced our parents in the audience.

“If you had to send your kids off to college with only one of the following nuggets of wisdom,” he asked them, “which would you choose: Be successful? Be happy? Or be good?”
I can’t recall his purpose for raising the question, but I vividly remember my mother’s response. On the car ride home from the ceremony, I asked her which tidbit she would impart to me as I left for college. She paused for a moment and then said confidently, “I’d tell you to be good.”

Her choice was curious to me at the time. Happiness and success are the stuff of life, I thought – the things that every parent wants for his or her child. I didn’t understand how she could so easily subordinate those two to being “good.”

Then Mom explained her reasoning. Happiness and success are important, she said, but she knew I’d strive for those things without being reminded to. Being good, on the other hand, wouldn’t always come as naturally.She was right. In college, I pursued success and happiness of my own accord. I pushed for competitive internships and worked hard in my classes to succeed. I sought satisfying friendships and hit up the best parties to ensure I’d have the happiest college experience possible. Being good, however, was not always as instinctive and rarely proved to be the easiest thing to pursue. Making time to give back to the community was difficult. Searching for recycling bins was infinitely more annoying than throwing away my bottles. Telling my professor the truth about my tardy paper was much scarier than claiming to be sick.

As my mother predicted, morality has been the only one of those nuggets of wisdom that required a constant reminder.

Four years later, we graduate again. The question is the same, but this time it applies to us, not our parents. Be successful? Be happy? Or be good?

It’s clear that today’s graduates are fixated on achieving their own definitions of happiness and success. We want to thrive in the workplace and find careers that we love. And why shouldn’t we? But being good while we pursue those endeavors deserves – perhaps requires – a special reminder.

Even if the nature of our jobs isn’t selfless – if we’re bankers, lawyers, writers or advertisers – we all will face opportunities to be good, or to create good, at some point. We just need to embrace those moments.

My friend Harris always wanted to become a businessman. He received his M.B.A. right after college and pursued a finance job at a large corporate firm. After five years of building his resume and networking, he founded Giftback.com, a gift-ordering Web site that donates 10 percent of every purchase to a charity of the consumer’s choice. The business is thriving, and Harris says he has never been happier.

Another example comes from my friend’s dad, Fred, who graduated from college without much direction. He thought about becoming a teacher, but feared that the salary could not support a family in New York. He eventually decided to go to law school and practice corporate law. At the age of 50, once his practice was established, Fred developed a mentoring program called Lawyers Involved in Kids’ Education (LIKE), which pairs lawyers in his firm with children at a local public school. Fred enjoys his work as a lawyer, but admits that this program is what really makes him come alive.

Our methods of charity may come in the form of being a good friend, child, roommate or coworker. If my college experience is at all indicative of the future, though, being honest or selfless in these roles won’t always come easily or intuitively.

Like Fred, most of us will graduate without a definite plan. We have yet to discover precisely what makes us happy, or exactly how we want to succeed. But if we keep in mind that third admonition – “be good” – we may inadvertently stumble upon happiness and success along the way.

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Link to original article here. Real posts to come soon. On a regular basis. For serious.