Big spending

So many things come down to two factors: how much you spend, and how you spend, period. Time, money, energy, life. How you utilize your time is just as important as how much you dedicate to a given task. The quality of the things and experiences you pay for are just as significant as how much you dish out for tickets or a meal. I never wanted to see life as a transaction like this, but at a very basic level, I think I'm finding that it's true.

I tell people that I've never really liked math, but I actually (spoiler alert!) do. Given that I've found a passion in the written word, in uncertainty and crafting out the "right" answer (as well as accepting that most of the time, there IS no "right" answer), math seems to be the furthest thing from that mentality. It's regimented, exact, defined. There are rules and theories and very meticulous steps to be taken. You can't solve integrals and create your own answers, really.

But I think so much of math and economics can be used in journalism and in figuring out the ins and outs of daily life. With something as purportedly "unstructured" as writing, it's necessary to create frameworks and lists and deadlines, else I would be completely lost in a deluge of ideas, projects and distractions.

Time.

In these past few days, I've had more free time than I've had in quite a while, and it's strange on so many levels. I can see now how simple it would be to just rest easy and watch one day slip into the next, dusk turning into dawn, curled up in bed just thinking about getting things done without actually doing anything. That was my first day of down-time, simply planning out what I had to do in the coming week, and then calling it a day. But then, the unsettled antsy-ness set in.

And then, what little analytical mind I have set in (I don't have much common sense, but if I scrounge I can feign some). If I want to justify the fact that I'm paying this much money to be in the city, that my parents are putting this much faith behind my endeavors, and that I've pretty much been working toward this goal for a better part of my academic career, then I would need to get myself in gear.

Input, output.

Money.

At present, I can see two months ahead of me, and how I spend those two months will greatly impact how the rest of the year/rest of my time in NYC plays out. I started thinking about all of this because I've opted to create a running excel sheet of expenses - you know, something old, "grown-up" people do. Just to see, honestly, how much I can afford to keep trying new restaurants around town.

And that's when I realized why sites like Yelp and Timeout reel in so many users, and why reviews will always garner readership. People want to ascertain that the money that they're spending is going toward good product, even if that means that they're spending more. The majority of the things I find I spend my money on (thank you, excel sheets), are experiences, not tangible things. Concert tickets, dining out, marathon fundraising (and here I plug for anyone willing to donate to a good cause).

Energy.

And maybe this is because with experiences, you can ensure that however much money you put into them, you'll always win out because you can choose to enjoy the moment. The same way internships are only as good as the effort and energy you put into them, most life experiences are only worth as much as you make them. Hence, the things in life that are most valuable are the ones that you have to work toward. The more energy put in, the more energy is given back.

Math speaks leaps and bounds more than numbers on a page - definite answers are reassuring sometimes because they prove that there is some semblance of equilibrium to be found in our daily efforts. Spend quality time, money and energy on a project, and it's bound to give back an equal return.

Or at least, that's the hope.

That's Life.